I'm About to Break
by AnimePhr33k
Summary: The shattering of a fragile mind; the realization of so many mistakes…of so many, many mistakes… Soujiro’s final battle with Kenshin told from his POV.


Summary: The shattering of a fragile mind; the realization of so many mistakes…of so many, many mistakes… Soujiro's final battle with Kenshin told from his POV.

Disclaimer: I dun own Soujiro, Kenshin, or the Song. _ Damn.

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**One Step Closer**

By: _tenken_no_soujiro_  
  


**_I cannot take this anymore  
I'm saying everything I've said before_**

You're incredibly thick, Mister Himura. No matter how much you talk, you know you can't beat me. But you keep on talking. It's kind of…irritating.

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**_All these words they make no sense  
I find bliss in ignorance_**

It wouldn't be so bad if you would make sense with what you say, but you don't. Not killing the weak? And they call _me_ insane.

**_Less I hear the less you'll say  
But you'll find that out anyway  
Just like before... _**

Don't you realize it doesn't matter to me? I know I'm a messed up kid, but that doesn't mean I want you to tell me about it. If you'd just stop talking, we could get this fight over with. You're not the only person that I have to kill tonight, seeing as the rest of the Juppongatana have failed so far.__

**_Everything you say to me  
Takes me one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break_**

But no matter how much I try to shut you up, you keep on yapping. It's like there's a little switch in your brain that tells you to drive your opponents mad before fighting them. I wonder if there's a way I could turn it off. Maybe I'd have to crack open your scull. Maybe there'd be a little button inside, and if someone pressed it, you would stop talking.

**_I need a little room to breathe  
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break_**

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It's a little strange, how much you aggravate me. You standing here, facing the strongest of the Juppongatana. Facing the _perfect assassin_. If you hold anything back, _anything_, I am going to tear you apart. Don't you understand that? Doesn't it make you scared?

**_I find the answers aren't so clear  
Wish I could find a way to disappear_**

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And you keep standing there, not turning your blade. What is it with you?! Why won't you fight me for real? You think I'm just a kid who doesn't know how to use this blade that I'm holding. You still refuse to give up that strange vow of not killing that you have.

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**_All these thoughts they make no sense  
I find bliss in ignorance_**

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It's just like Senkaku said. You're different…I don't understand. I don't want to understand, but for some reason I just can't ignore it. Why? Why do your ideals bother me so much? Why can't I just smile and shrug it off? And why…why are you convinced that I'm 'good' under this smile? Why…why do I believe you?!

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**_Nothing seems to go away  
Over and over again  
Just like before... _**

And then it happens. You made me remember…You took me back to _that_ day… All of your incessant ramblings, all of your talk of peace… I sit here, tying the fragile strap of my wajarii lace, and all I can think of is the pain and the blood and the rain…

****

**_Everything you say to me  
Takes me one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break_**

I can hear their voices again, Mister Himura. Can you? Their shouting…it's so loud…Why can't you hear them? Why can't Miss Yumi hear them? Is it just me?

****

**_I need a little room to breathe  
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break_**

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My breath is speeding up slightly. They're going to kill me…They've got their swords and their shovels…they're going to kill me…and no one is there to save me…No one is there!

Everything you say to me  
Takes me one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break

You keep telling me that you help the weak, Mister Himura, but you don't do a very good job of it…Because then…there wasn't anybody…Just a cold, empty blade and the screaming. Just the screaming…

****

**_I need a little room to breathe  
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break  
Break, break, break, break, break…_**

If you fight to protect the weak…If you really mean what you say… THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU SAVE ME?!__

****

**_Shut up when I'm talking to you  
Shut up shut up shut up   
Shut up when I'm talking to you  
Shut up shut up shut up shut up…  
I'm about to break_**

And now you're apologizing. Saying you didn't know me. Saying that you have never met me. Saying you couldn't help me!__

**_Everything you say to me  
Takes me one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break_**

But I don't believe you. You said you help the weak. You said you help them! But they're supposed to die, Mister Himura. The weak… They're all supposed to die…Just like _they_ did, that day. Just like my family.

****

**_Everything you say to me  
Takes me one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break_**

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That's why Shishio-san is right and you're wrong…It's the law of nature. If you are strong, you live. If you are weak, you die. Shishio-san didn't lie to me! Shishio-san isn't mistaken…Shishio-san is right. I killed all of those people. But I wasn't wrong!

I need a little room to breathe  
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break

And you are finally taking me seriously; ready to attack with your Amakakeru ryu no Hirameki. Lets see how you do against _my_ attack, Mister Himura. Lets see if you can defeat my Shun-ten-satsu. Heaven-Instant-Kill.

****

**_Everything you say to me  
Takes me one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break_**

I can feel the dull edge of your blade digging quite suddenly into the curve of my chest, sending me flying. Do you realize how much more it hurts to be hit with a dull object moving at such a capacity that it cannot be seen, than it does to be hit with a sharp object? Sometimes I think you carry that sakabatou just to be cruel.

****

**_I need a little room to breathe  
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break…_**

But as I fall I don't think about the pain. I don't think about the rapidly advancing floor…All I can think about is all those faces. All of those people. All of that blood…

Oh God, what have I done?


End file.
